I know the game, how it works. If you run a business, or a blog, or maintain any kind of presence online, you’re constantly being harassed for “fresh, new content.” That’s the tagline of this decade. To which I say:
Pictured: me, annoyed by that tired, old refrain.
See, I’ve done the Twitter and Facebook thing for some time, now. I’ve employed strategies designed to drag people to my original content. My posts are scatter-shot. They work to an extent. I seem to be expanding my personal audience every day, a couple souls at a time. But I don’t find that mechanical process as fulfilling as just writing. And I’ve seen, firsthand, that other people are just better at churning out 140-character posts about junk and stuff than I am. Which is fine.
Bless you on your journey to find someone to manage your Facebooks, your Twitters, Tumblrs, Instagrams, Pinterests, and any other of the dozens of services I’ve left out. I have got my hands full, uh, handling my own steadily expanding list of soc med chores.
I find new gray hairs every few weeks.
So What’s the Point of This Post?
I’m not here to pitch my social media management skills, such as they are. I’m learning; I’m getting better. Whatever, it’s a hobby, trying to get a grip on the collective human psyche in order to decide on what silly meme to post. Nah, what I really want to do today is ask you a question: who’s going to tell your story?
We all have one, I know that much for a fact. Having met far too many people to hold any doubt on the subject, I submit that everyone has their own “content” (if you want to call it that), and everyone wants to put it out there for some sort of audience. I’m not even necessarily talking about publicly publishing it on a blog, or Amazon Kindle, or what have you. Maybe you aren’t in it for the money. Maybe your story is something to be shared with friends or family. Maybe you just want to hold it in your hands, your own, personal, eternal keepsake.
That’s Where Bilander Comes In
Bilander is a tight, little organization I founded to provide all manner of writing-related services, including:
- Content editing
- Copy editing
- Professional critiques
- Commissioned pieces (from full-length novels to micro fiction)
- And more
You may have a book, novella, or short story already written, in which case I could provide as in-depth an analysis as you’d like on anything from style, characterization, lyrical quality, symbolism, and so on, or all of the above. Or, if you’re just looking for a keen-eyed, sharp-sighted proofreader, I’m more than happy to be of service.
What’s in it for You?
You’re probably asking yourself, “Who is this guy? What even are his credentials?” Well, in the interest of total honesty: I’m not famous, I’m not a business insider, and I don’t have a million books published through Penguin or Random House. Hell, I don’t even have a literary agent on speed-dial. Perhaps, one day, some or all of those items will apply to me. But here’s what I do have, right now, for you:
- An English Degree (meaning, I can read and write well; very few people can, and you know it)
- The personal tutelage of some of the best authors, professors, and poets in the country
- A wild and insane upbringing in Western Europe, East Asia, and the United States
- I speak, read, and write in three languages; I have a global point of view, erasing potential biases based on culture, ethnicity, religion, skin-color, etc.
- A nearly suicidal, do-or-die work ethic — I will grind myself to a fine powder, if that’s what it takes to get your project done
- A slew of published works, in various extravagant genres, ranging from literary fiction to post-apocalyptic action thriller
- Excellent writing skills, and the samples to prove it
And I’m sure I could expand that list, but I don’t feel it necessary. The real value I provide comes from the fact that I’m not famous. Think about it, I’m the perfect mercenary to ghostwrite your book. No one will ever know. Complete confidentiality assured, because:
- I’ll never tell.
- No one will ever ask!
In addition, the services provided by Bilander are very reasonably priced, and we’re open to negotiation. You give me credit, or royalties, or another form of extra compensation based on our written agreement, then we may just get crackin’ at a discounted rate. Contact me, and we let’s discuss plans.
Who Should be Interested?
Why hire some publishing industry attache, who’s got his or head in the clouds? People deep in that traditional business, I have no problem with them, of course. They just probably aren’t my prospective clients. Oftentimes, agents and publishers and big-shots don’t have any time left for us mere mortals. Paradoxically, with them, you have to be in already before you can get in. Guess what, though? I’m a mere mortal. I don’t have a literary stick up my patoot. I don’t have any truck with that in-crowd hoopla.
The people who hire me are looking for someone to bring out their own voices for their own projects. I have no agenda, no ulterior motives, no biases. I write what you want, how you want it.
I make it work. Plain, simple. Bang. Done.
What’s in it for Me?
Aside from being able to pay my bills and, thus, continue writing my own projects without, you know, going the H.P. Lovecraft route (i.e. a long, slow death due to self neglect)…? Well, I get to help you tell your story. And that has more value, in my mind, than most of the other bullshit I’ve had to do in my life.
My great mentor taught me the value of leading “a life of the mind.” That’s where my heart lies. Writing allows me to lead that very particular kind of life. I’m good at this business, too, you know; I know how to spin a yarn, weave some words.
Some of us don’t have the ability, desire, or time to follow that path, and that’s one of the things that makes the human race a lot of fun: even though we’re all generalists in the big picture, each of us is a specialist in one area or another. My specialty is writing and storytelling. What’s yours? What drives you, and how may I help you talk about it?
Editing-wise, I’ve helped hundreds of individuals better tell their stories, whether fiction or non-fiction, memoir or sci-fi. I’ve delivered successful, ghostwritten works in the following styles and genres, to name a few:
- Business and Marketing
- Biography / Memoir
- Scholarly Articles
- Genre Fiction (Sci-Fi, Urban/High Fantasy, Alternate Reality/History, Historical Fiction, Post-Apocalypse, etc.)
Beyond these, I have experience writing website copy, blogs, and any short, pithy bit of fluff that you might want to add that extra pinch of spice to a social media post. I’ve been commissioned to write poetry, essays, micro fiction pieces, and more.
If your project doesn’t fall within the above-mentioned categories, it doesn’t mean that I won’t touch it. Not at all! I might just never have been approached with anything even remotely similar. Send me a message. Let’s talk about it.
Getting in Touch
Regardless of whether or not you’ve been convinced to give us a try, or you just want to chew the fat with me, I can be reached at email@example.com
I’m a charming enough fella, as fellas go.
And stick around for future posts that will discuss in greater detail the nature of the various services launched by Bilander.
To my Geese I say: Honk On.